Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
