3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
