Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I will pee on everything he values.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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