Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just had sex bonerless
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
