The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
