Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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