I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
