Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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