Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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