cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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