stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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