what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
