Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
