I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
