just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
