: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
