video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
