JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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