She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
