I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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