just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
