Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I pour the whiskey from now on
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
