YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
