why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
