Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
