Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
