at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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