weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The dick lei will go down in squad history
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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