you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize