He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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