you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
