if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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