i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
