I wish I could punch you in the face.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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