Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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