Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
