Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
