Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
