he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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