I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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