Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
