yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
