I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
false alarm. still invincible.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
