hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
They took my balls.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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