you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
