just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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