I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
