don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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