You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
