I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
