Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
