Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
home. puking in laundry basket.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize