Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
