Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The feeling are messing with the penis
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
