About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
