I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
