I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
