Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
