We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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