MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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