he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
